Secrets

Everyone has secrets, right?
What is one thing that you really want to say, but don't want to be judged about?
But don't want to be rejected about?
I'm not sure if I do or not.
I mean you guys don't know who I am,
the whole 0 people that read this.
And you don't know how old I am.
So I guess I have a few little secrets.
But you know my views.
You know my opinions, or some of them.
And if you keep reading, you'll know more and more.
So I mean, the name and face and age don't really matter, do they?
I mean, unless you care about that stuff.
Maybe I'm "Too old" or "Too young" to even have the views that I do.
Maybe I'm too ugly or too pretty to be as dumb or smart as I am.
Maybe if you knew my name, if you knew my face, my age, my body,
Maybe you wouldn't like me as much.
Maybe you would like me more.
Maybe, just maybe, you'd fall in love.
But you'll never know that.
You're online.
I can't see you,
You can't see me.
So why are you reading this?
I don't think you are.
I don't think anyone does.
I like to think I make a difference.
But I don't.
Everyone wants to think they make a difference.
But about 80% don't.
That's a lie.
EVERYONE makes a difference.
No matter what you think of yourself.
YOU MAKE A DIFFERENCE IN SOMEONE/THING'S LIFE!
You may think you suck.
But everything you do has an after effect.
Everything you say.
Everything you feel
or want
or need
or love.
You do matter.
YOU MATTER.
That's why it boggles my mind when people want to kill themselves.
I've been tired with life before.
Hell, I've cut before and hurt myself on purpose.
I get why people do it.
They want to be distracted from the pain they feel.
They want to be in control of SOMETHING finally.
It's an unhealthy outlet.
I hate to hear or see that someone is being hurt.
Don't put people down.
Don't hurt on purpose.
And if you can, don't hurt by accident either.
Allthough I know the definition of accident.
And everyone makes them.
Don't be ashamed of accidents that you've made.
As long as you see that they were wrong,
then it doesn't matter so much.
I don't know.
I never know.
Who knows?

Music

What is it?
Music is water dripping from the faucet.
Music is the city sound.
Music is whatever you want it to be.
The same with art.
The same with love.
The same with life.
We invent our worlds.
Sure, they're usually basted on things we've seen before.
Letters.
Numbers.
Mountains.
Rivers.
People.
Buildings.
Cars.
But it's still, for the most part, our own world.
It's not going to be soon.
Government wants to get into our heads.
Pick our brains.
And leave us with nothing but a newfound self hate.
They want us to believe that "normal" is the right way.
They want us to believe that they can make everything in our lives better.
They want to put us down just so they can bring us back up again and look like the good guy.
Well this is what I have to say to "them."
FUCK YOU!
Fuck the people who say you're too fat,
too skinny,
too weird,
too obnoxious,
too outgoing,
too shy,
too fucked up,
not pretty enough,
not happy enough,
not girly enough,
not "macho" enough,
not healthy enough,
not "normal" enough!
YOU ARE YOU!
I AM ME!
WE ARE REAL PEOPLE,
WITH REAL FEELINGS!
WE GET HURT WHEN YOU PUT US DOWN!
WE GET HAPPY WHEN YOU PICK US UP!
Pick someone up today.
Even if they put you down,
it means they're insecure with themselves.
They need a pick up.
One little compliment,
one little sentence,
could make someone's day....


or break it.

So do something productive instead of destructive!
Help me make sure we're not the lazy generation.

Boring days.

Today is just one of those days.
One of those borning days that no one likes to begin with,
but when they get older they wish they had more of them.
I'm not older yet.
I don't want anymore boring days.
Being bored leads to thinking.
Which leads to thinking too much.
And I'd rather not.
I don't think anyone wants to think too much.
I don't think anyone wants to make their minds boggle about nothing.
I don't think anyone wants to think about themselves.
I don't think anyone wants to think badly about themselves, anyway.
I don't want to sound like something is wrong.
Because nothing is really wrong.
It's just nothing is really right.
Have you ever had that feeling?
Where you can't tell if things are okay,
so you just keep going and going and going.
But you're not sure about anything.
Any choices.
Anything you do.
Anything you think.
Anything you like, or don't.
What is this life for?
What is this day for?
What is your voice for?!
YELL!
SCREAM!
What are your legs for?
WALK!
RUN!
DANCE LIKE NO ONE IS WATCHING!
What are your arms for?
HOLD EACHOTHER CLOSE!
NEVER LET YOUR LOVES GO!
What is your brain for?
THINK FOR YOURSELF!
THINK!
THINK!
What are emotions for?
FEEL!
FEEL!
FEEL!
FEEL!
FEEL!
I can't tell you what to do.
I can only give suggestions.
But the best suggrestion I could ever give to you is to feel.
Feel love.
Feel loss.
Feel pain.
Feel happiness.
Feel the things you've been afraid to feel.
And feel the things you take for granted.

Let's just say....

I'm not the most interesting of people.
So why are you reading this?
Weirdo.
But.
I do have dreams and goals.
And this is my list, for now.
In the order I thought of them,
not the order of importance.

1. Catch a T-shirt at a concert
2. Fall in love
3. Get married
4. Get a pottery studio
5. Sell post maid in said studio
6. Get into college
7. Finish college
8. Go to Vans Warped Tour
9. Sky dive
10. Cave Dive
11. Buy a tuxedo shirt
12. DON'T get divorced
13. Star in a commercial
14. Get brought back to life
15. Keep a journal of my life (Hopefully this will be the journal)
16. Meet Patrick*
17. Make a best friend
18. Meet Lonnie
19. Be happy
20. Write a song or story that gets famous

That's all for now.
I'm sure I'll have more to add.
And I'm sure some of those sound really juvenile to you.
But I can be pretty juvenile.

*Names are always changed.

Just to Start...

I'm not quite sure what I'm supposed to say.
My name is unimportant.
And these are my thoughts.
Or will be when I start "blogging."
Not today, loves.
Not today.